A rat race - Day 24.

Day 24 (Tuesday, 10th July, 2018).

While I was in school, during the 7th standard (not sure what's the equivalent for other countries), the exams were state wide. Meaning, the evaluation would not happen at the school where one would be studying. The answers could end up anywhere within the state where the exam is held and would get evaluated by some teacher whom you've never met before. This brought in a sense of uncertainty. In all the other exams before, we could always get our answer sheets, go and discuss with the teacher who has corrected it and then see if we could get additional marks. But here, there was a sense of helplessness or a loss of control in certain ways.

This brought in a change in my approach towards exams. Before this, I would always go and see if I could get more marks and see if I could better my closest competition. But at this point, I decided it was more important to just put in the efforts and leave the rest. This changed my whole attitude towards how I looked at my studies. It was no more be-better-than-the-next, but had changed to - be-better-than-self. It was a significant shift in my view towards life in general.

Since then, I've used this motto everywhere else in my life. I'm good at adapting learning from one walk of life and using it elsewhere. This is exactly what I did with the new view I had on studies.

What matters for me now is to be better than what I was yesterday. This does not mean I have no end goal in sight. What it only means is, I'm not focused on what the person next to me is doing. I'm not trying to better that person. I'm not worried if that person is earning more, is more educated, or is fitter than me. What I focus on is to see what I aspire for and try to work towards it.

The reason why I shifted to this was because I never felt comfortable when I was competing against others. Whenever I did better than someone else, I could always see some other person who did better than me. This was a never ending cycle. Some might say that it helps you to improve, for me, it only hindered my progress as it was always about someone else.

It was a rat race which I felt was unsustainable for me. Beat the next person, beat another after that, keep pushing so that you are the best. A never ending battle against someone else. Now, it's transformed into a battle against self - set a goal, work every day to be better than yesterday and make sure you are aligned to the end goal.

Links:
Day 23 (Need for rest).

Day 24 (Simplifying goals).